Thursday 14 March 2013

Don't beat yourself up

So we're 3 weeks in to using the pump now.  It's by no means perfect.  I don't think it's her basals, but we haven't had a good opportunity to test them properly.  I do find that if I correct her at night though, she tends to go to low for comfort before morning, but if she is at a good number at bedtime, then she has a good night.  There is a long time between bedtime and morning (for the sleeping child, not the testing mom!) as she goes to bed at 7:30pm and gets up at 6:00am.

Last night she wanted multigrain cheerios for bedtime snack.  They have some sugar as compared to the regular cheerios, but she likes them, so I thought why not?  She scarfed down 1 c cheerios, 1/2 c milk and a marble cheese string before heading in to brush her teeth and get ready for a new Pinkalicious book we'd bought at the bookfair.

At 11pm she was 11.5 (207).  Not really high, but this new ability to correct her readings before they get out of control was at my fingertips.  I corrected.  Not even thinking that it was a spike from eating cereal and that it would likely come down on its own.  At 3am she was 5.3 (95), so I set a small, lower temp basal for 1 hour.  I woke up at 5am out of the blue to a beep! beep! beep!  I had no idea what it was but immediately jumped out of bed to check the pump. (as an aside, I don't think I've heard the pump alarm yet, and that's what I thought, turns out there was a loader on our street clearing up some slushy snow)  It wasn't the pump, but I decided to check her sigar anyway, it was 4.5(81).  hmmmm.....maybe I should have set that basal for longer.  I set another one and went back to bed, but not to sleep, for the next hour.

At 6am, she was 4.1 (73) so I gave her a yogurt drink to tie her over until breakfast.  She wanted....yup, you guessed it! CHEERIOS!

The whole point of my post, was that I was reading Hallie's most recent post over at The Princess and the Pump about not beating yourself up.  Here I was lying in bed for that hour, beating myself up about treating the cereal spike, not setting the temp basal for long enough, and for feeling like I don't know enough about pumping yet to have the type of control that I would like to have.  When none of that really matters because I'm doing the best I can.

And I know this because after Amy drank her yogurt drink this morning, she called me back into her room, she reached her little girl arms up around my neck, smiled at me and said "you're the BEST mom ever!  Thank you for taking such good care of me!"

And that's all that matters!

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